


Drunk & Disorderly

by Profitina



Series: Handprint Kinksters [19]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:27:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24009592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Profitina/pseuds/Profitina
Summary: Maria calls Max with a drunk and disorderly- spoiler, it’s Liz
Relationships: Max Evans/Liz Ortecho
Series: Handprint Kinksters [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1731475
Kudos: 13





	Drunk & Disorderly

“Maria, you called the station that you had a drunk and disorderly?” Max adjusted his belt, looking around the Pony for the culprit.

“Yes. Your girlfriend had a bad day and got in a fight with Rosa so she finished a bottle of tequila.” Maria leaned against the top of the bar. 

“You could have just called my personal number instead of 911.” He chastised her.

“I did! You didn’t pick up.” She threw her hands up in frustration. Max checked his phone and sure enough, he had 43 text messages from Liz and 3 missed calls from Maria. The texts started off by telling him about the fight, then started saying filthy things she wanted to do to him. The rest were pure random gibberish. 

“Where is she?” Max asked looking around for his love. Maria gestured down behind the bar. Coming around the bar, he saw Liz squatting up under the bar top in a nook where Maria usually kept extra bottles of liquor. 

“Maxie!” She squealed excitedly seeing him. She went to stand up and banged her head on the underside of the bar. “Do you want to come into my fort? You’ll have to guess the password.” 

Max gasped at her. He had never seen her this drunk. “Dispatch” he called into his radio. “I’m going to have to take the rest of the night off. I have a family emergency. All clear at the Pony”. He waited for the Roger that of dispatch then squatted down near Liz behind the bar. “Baby, I can’t fit in there. I’m not pint size like you.”

“What’s the password!” Liz flailed in his general direction.

“Uhm. I love you? I need you to come out.” Max guessed half heartedly.

“Thas cute but not it!” Liz giggled. “Iloveyousomuch. We should make babies.” 

“That…. is definitely something we can talk about tomorrow. I’d love to do that with you someday.” He rubbed the hair at the back of his neck nervously. Liz was usually super jumpy about things involving big commitment.

“But I want to get started tonight!” Liz whined. 

“You are too drunk for big decisions tonight. Please come out so I can take you home and get some snuggle time.” He tried to placate her.

“I love snuggles!” Liz tried to wiggle out but was in such a compact place and so drunk, she couldn’t maneuver it. “I’m stuck.”

Max reached under the bar, and put his hands on either side of her waist. Bracing his weight on his heels, he pulled her out of the cubby into his lap. Liz made an uncomfortable face then without warning, vomited right next to them. Max stroked her hair while she puked waiting until he was sure she was finished to move her again. He stood up and tossed her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “I’m sorry, Maria. I’ll clean up after her after I get her into the squad car.” 

“Don’t worry about it, Max. I’m just glad she’s safe.” Maria wrinkled her nose at the puke smell behind her bar. She was going to have to bleach that. “Have fun on your drive home!” 

Max set Liz down gently in the front passenger seat of his squad car and buckled her seatbelt. He kissed her clammy forehead and shut the door. Going around to the drivers side, he slid in his seat and buckled his seatbelt. After he backed out, Liz started playfully walking her fingers down his leg.

“You know what we’ve never done but I think about every time I’m in a car with you?” Liz asked after they had been driving for about 5 minutes. At Max’s hmm? She started frantically trying to unbuckle his belt buckle. Max hissed when she brushed his erection. She was driving him crazy. “Giving road head is a right of passage.” 

“Baby, stop trying to get me to have sex with you.” He shook his head at her. He was rock hard. He knew exactly what she could do with that mouth. 

“I consent!” She argued.

“You can’t consent if you’re drunk. Also, you just vomited.” He raised his eyebrow at her. 

“Do you still want me?” She looked up at him with her big dark eyes worried. 

“Always.” Max promised. By the time they arrived at their house, Liz was passed out. He carried her bridal style into the house and tucked her into bed. He kissed her nose and shook his head. She always kept him on his toes.


End file.
